Just a reminder although I have talked more about our daily lives this too is about our infertility journey and all that comes with it. (so parents you may want to stop reading here)
Many of you ladies who have gone through the infertility journey will totally understand this post. Aunt Flo last graced me with her presence in May! Yes the middle of May! Between that time I have had a false positive, 2 negative blood tests and a negative urine test at the doctors. Finally after 56 days (8wks) the witch finally decided to show up. She didn't call before she came, she didn't knock nicely. No this nasty visitor pounded loudly and squeezed tightly.
When I had the false positive after being "late" they did the blood tests and told me if she didn't arrive by week 8 they would put me on meds to make her come. I'm not sure if I should be happy she came on her own or not. Not really sure which one would be worse at this point.
What else comes with the witch especially after so long....emotions!!! I've told myself over and over that I have come to the realization that we are an infertile couple. Well in the doctors office (the GP) he asked what I thought had been causing the rash of symptoms I told him possibly all the hormone injections. He then asked me how I felt about our infertility and if it was a souce of anxiety. I actually teared up for the first time in a while. I fought them back and brushed them aside.
I have this feeling that it might be time to talk to someone about all of this because maybe I'm not over it. Do you ever really come to terms with it? I've been saying that if we don't have kids of our own then we'll just get to travel more but I'm not sure I'll be happy with that.
In my last post we talked about Embryo adoption. We had discussed if we did this we'd wait until we saved up the funds to do the transfer. But we have been told that I might not have that great of an egg reserve and the even longer cycles i think helps that theory. Doesn't the body stop cycling when you have no more eggs? If that''s the case then my window to even transfer embryos would be closing sooner than later.
So the question is what to do? This all maybe more of the emotion associated with a very unfriendly friend but who knows.
A Slow Cooker Thanksgiving
9 months ago
1 comments:
Breen, I'm so sorry to hear about all that is going on. We had something similar happen a couple of months ago when I had a 48 day cycle. A friend annnounced she was pregnant while we were in limbo and it was very hard when it ended up being a 'no' for us. Even with a little man at home now, I find that it comes in waves. At times I'll be fine with the infertility stuff. But then out of nowhere, it gets really hard again. Lately it's been hard again. I'm glad you feel comfortable writing it out on here. I don't really have any advice, but I would encourage you to talk with someone if you feel the need to do that. I find that it feels much better to talk through it with someone, even if it doesn't always make it easier to get through those emotions.
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