Our Dilemma

I write this as a way to get my thoughts out there and to let you know what we are thinking. In my last post I stated that we had decisions to make. The one comment that sticks with me from the people at Holt is that other countries don't view depression/anxiety like the United States does. Some countries it is an automatic disqualifier. So with that being said is International really right for us? Since we hit this major road block, I find myself asking, do I really want to defend my mental health? Really in the conversations I have had with Holt I feel as if that is what I have been doing. Then I think there are so many people out there who have children and "try" to raise them that didn't have to be "approved" to be a parent. If you recall my post about international vs. domestic I will refer to that a little. International is more of a guarantee, however we most likely would get a toddler not an infant. I've been reading other peoples blogs and with toddlers have heard of major attachment issues. My question to myself is would I have the patience to deal with that. We have been reading the books to understand our perspective child better but I still wonder. With domestic the "wait" isn't necessarily 1 month or 2 years it all depends. If we did domestic we most likely would not do foster to adopt. I don't think I could handle that emotion.
Also the other thing to consider with domestic is once your profile is "published" you basically get your nursery ready because the wait could be short or could be long. You just never know. But the more open you are to different cultures the more your profile is presented.
We really thought that International was the way to go. I just never realized the culture difference when it comes to mental health. But I should have considered it...
So if we did domestic we most likely would go with the agency that is currently doing our homestudy or I might just bite the bullet and get the pysh report done.
As you can see the road to adoption is a roller coaster ride...ours so far reminds me of the ride at Animal Kingdom called Everest...At one point in the ride you come to a complete stop and the go backwards. I feel like we are going backwards and changing our minds. We may actually decide before the Holiday, so that we know the plan for afterward.