Thanksgiving Thursday

Another blog I follow has Thanksgiving Thursday and I thought I needed to participate to remind myself of all the good things in my life.

I am thankful:
1. That I have a wonderful, caring husband
2. That we have such a supportive family
3. That we both have jobs that we enjoy
4. That we have a home
5. That I have friends I can lean on whenever I need

Participate in Thanksgiving Thursday
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Philippines Moratorium

I was just catching up on reading the blogs I follow and in reading Rachel's blog she made mention of a moratorium for infant adoptions from the Philippines. Maybe this is why our agency turned us down...Not necessarily for this particular reason. But the saying goes "everything happens for a reason". You may not ever know the reason at the time but later on you find out that reason.

I've been through this many times before where I'm just not sure. When our agency turned us down for the Philippines due to my medical issues we thought it was just a sign and but the more I thought I thought what if we just switched agencies. But now I know it was a definite sign. I think God just knew I wouldn't be able to handle the waiting...let alone the "extra" waiting of a moratorium.

If you recall our agency told us that with my depression and anxiety diagnosis about 9 yrs ago that even if we were approved we'd sit on the list forever being passed over because they don't look at this issues the same as the US does. Well with the moratorium Wow we'd be waiting a long time.

A Clean House

Wow! It only took forever for Cart and I to finally pick up the living room and dining room. Our big problem is the mail comes in and it lands in one of several places. You add a month of mail and you get chaos.

So the new goal is to keep it this way. The whole house is almost organized. If we get it organized this week then it will be done.

I'm wondering how other people keep their house picked up so they don't have to spend hours going through mail etc. I know the easy answer but obviously that hasn't worked for us. We just get so tired during the week and then want the weekend to relax. Any suggestions?

Baby Thoughts

Cart and I have done a lot of talking in regards to this whole having a baby thing. We really want children but are completely emotionally drained after 3 yrs of trying...well technically longer but ssshhhh.

We were pursuing international adoption but felt being turned down for the Philipines program that it wasn't "meant" to be. So then we considered domestic infant adoption. But that just scares us and was confirmed by a lawyer I spoke to who basically said he avoids infant adoptions because there is too much red tape and too much at stake for the adoptive parents. Our sentiments exactly.

Then there is IVF. We considered doing IVF again but it wouldn't be in the states. We would go to another country probably the Czech Republic. It's half the cost we'd spend 2 weeks there basically a mini vacation with the hope of coming back with an expensive suvenior. :) But I just don't feel the need to give myself more shots and be put through more bad side effects. Plus the cost.

So we have decided to simply Just Let It Happen. If it is meant to be it will be and if not, we have each other and can live one of our dreams much earlier and travel the world. Done by yearly vacations of course.

With that said. I have been on Clomid for the past months. My OB felt that if my cycles were as regular as they were then we had a decent shot. Well nothing yet and not much optimism on my end.

So as in previous posts I'm occupying my time scrapbooking and making cards.

BTW, we don't feel that we have given up. We really hope to be blessed with a miracle, But in Gods time. If someone we know, knows someone with a child to adopt we would probably pursue it. But I think as far as medical treatments go we may or may not pursue that ever.

Right now, Just Let It Happen.

New Focus

With the constant thought of trying to concieve (TTC) your mind gets overwhelmed and exhausted. It is a vicious cycle for infertile people or people who have tried and tried and nothing.

What is this vicious cycle?

First your monthly cycle comes. Right after it ends you start using OPKs (ovulation predictor kits). The is a daily thing of analyzing lines until the postive one comes. Sometimes you use this test a couple times a day. Once you get that test you know you'll ovulate anywhere between 24-36 hrs later. Or even the same day. But as those test lines get darker you start well...then once you get that positive you well...somemore... After you ovulate and you have two weeks until your next cycle should start...you wait and wonder. All the pains and symptoms etc. Then your beloved friend shows and the vicious cycle starts all over again. Wondering again will this be our month. The longer it gets without getting pregnant naturally you get frustrated and it takes its toll.

So, to keep my mind from the vicious cycle I have started a new hobby. I have taken up scrapbooking. I am starting from the beginning when Cart and I first met. So here is my first page. As I keep doing this I'm sure they will get better and more creative. :)

Vacation

We just got back from a Carribean Vacation. We had a lot of fun but by the end we were ready to come home. We vacationed with Cart's parents. It was their anniversary celebration and our anniversary trip as well. (we usually travel in March for our anniversary).

Anywho. We took a trip on Carnival Liberty with ports of call in San Juan, Puerto Rico, St. Thomas and St. Maarten.

We had a great trip with laughs, jokes and fun. Here are some of the pictures from the trip

On the balcony at our timeshare the morning we left. Miami Beach

Safety drills are so much fun

Me on the boat waiting to get off the boat in San Juan, Puerto Rico.

At Dinner

Busy February

Wow it's been a few weeks since I have posted. We've been so busy. Cart and I were mentioning to each other tonight how much out of our "normal" routines we are. So I thought I would update and post pics (at the end of this post) of what we have been up to for the last few weeks.

On February 15th Cart ran in the 26.2 with Donna. The only National Breast Cancer Marathon. He finished in 5hrs and 3min (not the actual chip time but pretty close). I am so proud of him. He trained for months but always managed to work his training around my work schedule so that it wouldn't take away from our time together. I truly am spoiled in this aspect. :)

The almost exactly 2 weeks later Cart ran in the first ever MS Mud Run. This is a 6 mile "run" military boot camp style. There were several obstacles stationed throughout the course to be completed. Cart ran this with his bestfriend D. They finished in just under 2 hours. It wasn't about the finish time but about having fun for a cause close to our family.

For me I've been so busy with work. We have been short staffed so I've actually been working "full-time" for the last several weeks. Since August I have really only been working about 25 hrs a week. But still making full time pay. So with working 40hrs I've been able to make some extra money which is great. I am now bartending which I am so happy to get back to that. That is one thing I loved doing when working in the former restaurant that I worked in.

At the beginning of January I switched gyms and started with a personal trainer. I did this for several reasons. 1) it's time to get my weight under control after all the injuries. 2) I thought it would help with the whole TTC (trying to conceive) issue. 3) we are going on a cruise in 3 days and I didn't want to look "fat" in the pictures 4) my 10yr HS reunion is in June. So far to date I have lost 14 lbs. I wanted to loose 20 by the cruise but being 6 lbs off I'm not complaining. I am hoping to get down to 140 by June.

As I just mentioned we are headed on a cruise in a few days. We are excited about vacation and feel we truly need this. When we get back we will be celebrating our 3rd anniversary. It truly is amazing, it really feels like we've been together forever. Look for a blog on our anniversary with "flashbacks" to that day.

Cart in the final stretch to the finish line

He finished and was all sweaty.

Clean boys before the run

Going through a mud pit

After climbing the last hill before the slip in slide. Cart is 3rd from left and that is D on his right.

Coming to the Finish line

The after picture. Remember Cart's shirt was white.